Interpersonal Philosophy

Why do boys act surprised when flattery isn't enough to make a girl like them?

Submitted by Hannah Lilley

I think it all boils down to a fundamental difference of gender stimulation. Guys are visually stimulated, girls are emotionally stimulated. And which of these would you expect to come first? Visual stimulation from the men, of course. So the guy just feels sooner. Feels good, feels bad. He will be stimulated before she will be, almost every time.

Disclaimer: We're not talking about sexual stimulation, just a stimulation of the senses.

So the guy starts feeling a fondness before the girl. But this fondness is based on a shallow level of stimulation, one in which the girl does not share. At this point his only means of expressing his feelings is verbally through flattery. I mean if he just walked up and kissed the girl he'd probably get slapped, ya know? So he has to verbally express the sentiment.

The girl, however, is not yet "turned on" because she hasn't been emotionally stimulated through meaningful contact with the guy. So she rejects the flattery. The guy doesn't understand that she requires a deeper connection to share his fond feelings. Because he likes her, he assumes that she's started to feel the same way. But their relationship so far lacks emotion enough for his words to mean anything to her.

But with a little more effort, a few more failed attempts, and some quality time spent together, eventually his words will carry an emotional weight that will move the girl to actually being flattered.