Interpersonal Philosophy x2

Why do boys always act like "hard asses" when they're around their buddies?

Submitted by Natalie Spencer

I spent most of my high school lunch periods sitting by my locker doing last-minute homework or reading my Bible. Or at least that's what I pretended to be doing. The truth is that most days I would have my head down in a book, but I'd actually be evesdropping on the conversations taking place around me. It was easy enough to go unnoticed since I had been a loner for most of my secondary education. I was pretty shy and quiet most of the time ("until you get to know me", I would tell people), a result of some negative social experiences from middle school.

Most of the conversations I overheard were females standing around together gossiping about hair, clothes, and other girls that they didn't seem to care for, and guys standing around in their man-cliques talking about the hottest girls (cheerleaders and their friends, usually), who has the biggest rack, and who would suck "you know what" better than someone else.

So I learned a lot about the social behaviors of men, and here are my findings.

It is pretty simple really. Most guys (I would say 90% or so) lack a basic moral foundation. Treating a girl like a lady is an obscure and invisible notion, and chivalry is all but completely dissipated. Simple gestures such as presenting a flower or a tender gaze are no longer considered intimate or meaningful or necessary. No, for most guys in U.S. in the first decade of the 21st century, the ultimate goal is sexual satisfaction.

So the problem is not that guys change their behavior when their posse comes around, it's that their behavior changes when the ladies come around.

Yes, the sad truth is that guys are, by human nature, driven by lust and greed, and will do whatever necessary to satisfy their impulses with the most attractive girls that they can attain. This is almost NEVER a conscious act, and if confronted about it you can expect a guy to spew out, in as caring of a tone as he can muster, something along the lines of "naw baby, I'm being real." So it goes: they will be "men" when around other men, and compassionate sweet-talkers when around women.

A word of advice to the troubled women? Recognize these alter-egos and withhold sexual activity (anything past kissing) from your relationships. Then the guy's true colors will eventually show through, and he'll either get frustrated over time or you'll experience what true love really is.

But now I don't want this to become a completely subjective boy-hating rant, so let me finish with this.

Boys, by divine design, are prone to be more violent. We are men. We like action movies and contact sports. We fear nothing and shun weakness. We love women but don't want to be one. Women, by design, are softer creatures. Unfortunately many women are beginning to throw in the towel on chivalry and instead are striving for that magazine beauty (unattainable ideal) and positive male attention (fueled by lust), thereby enslaving themselves unwittingly in unhealthy relationships and degrading their self-image. But that's an entirely different blog entry for another day...

My point is that the genders are meant to be opposites. Complementary of one another. Girls are expected to be emotional, and guys are expected to be emotionless. That's just the way of it. All you can do is recognize the difference between natural behavior and pseudo-intentional facade. Once you can distinguish between the two, you'll find yourself in deeper, more beneficial relationships -- romantic or otherwise.