A Familiar Paradox

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and to be loved in return."

That's one of my most favorite quotes because I believe it to be wholly and completely true. The scenario it presents is two-fold: (1) to love someone, and (2) to be loved by that person. When both of these occur simultaneously, the result is "the greatest thing" ever. That's why God gave Eve to Adam.

But... if either of these two halves occurs without the other, it can have a directly opposite effect: utterly helpless grief. That's my paradox. That's my fear. That's my paranoia.

I met this girl recently. All you need to know is that she is terrific. She dances, she sings, and she acts. She loves Jesus, she's got a heart of gold, and she's even on Twitter. And she's beautiful! Her eyes are blue like the sky on a sunny day (I think... we haven't really had many sunny days recently). And as far as I can tell, we're hitting things off. "As far as I can tell" - can you really ever tell what a woman is thinking? But we have all kinds of things in common and we enjoy a lot of fun together whether it's alone or with a group of mutual friends. And she's kind of a Facebook stalker, which I think is awesome.

So sets in the paranoia. Naturally you want to know if someone views you in the same light as you view them. I like this girl, and so it has become a balancing act. Coming on too strong will chase her off. Not coming on at all puts a guy in "the friend zone" which is completely no bueno when you like someone. So I'm paranoid that by thinking about it too much, I'm gonna screw up somehow. Self-fulfilling prophecy and all that nonsense.

Quite frankly I'm scared of confronting her with a "DTR" because to do so would admit feelings and initiate the first half of the above equation. What if she isn't feeling the attraction that I am? That would suck. But I guess it's better to find out sooner than later, right? I feel like I've offered enough advice in my day that could be directly applied to the current state of my personal affairs but for some reason, it's only easy to advise on one's circumstances when you don't have a personal stake in them. I wish I had a archive of all the advice I'd ever given people. Then I could go back and read it all again as if someone was giving it to me for the 741st time.

I haven't spoken of this girl to anyone, so if you think you know who it is... you probably don't. Usually when I confide in someone about a girl, it never works out. That's a cycle I'd like to see ended.