Dating the Mysteriously Unexpected

So... I used to date this girl and I pretty much loved her. Not just her, though, I loved our relationship. It was exciting. Partly because I never knew how to read her, and so I had to work extra hard to be extremely suave. But I did a really good job. I just did a lot of things for her that I had never done for anybody else. We interacted on a whole new level. A random rose two weeks after Valentine's Day, inconspicuous text messaging back and forth beneath the table in public places, dancing the night away one night and cuddling up to a movie when we could barely walk the next.

But now that that relationship is over, I am having a hard time duplicating the mysterious sensuality that we shared. "Duplicating" is a poor word choice because I know how terrible it would be to try and duplicate a past relationship. That just has bad written all over it. But I miss the emotion, the thoughtfulness, and the effort that it took to make it as exciting as it was.

Now I'm seeing an amazing new girl. She has a sound mind, a tender heart, a sober mouth, and knock-out beauty. But she is easier to read, much less mysterious, and so I'm struggling to be not boring around her. How do you put a spark into a straight "dinner & movie" date? We're not in a relationship, we're just sort of dating right now (barely even that), but I'm not getting that nervous little urge to surprise her with a clever gesture like before.

So now I am wondering: in a new relationship (generally speaking), if I am not having to be super suave, super romantic, and super spontaneous, then does that mean that we're not connecting? I don't want things to get boring, but I am afraid that my life is just not interesting enough to keep a girl entertained if the relationship does not spark that ingenuity.

I have not thought about this a whole lot, but it's about time for a new post and since I can't get this new girl out of my head, I am hoping that writing about it will give me a revelation to sweep her off her feet. I think maybe it's just a little too early for ingenuity to be necessary or to come naturally, and that with a little time, I might feel at liberty to interact with her more creatively. I will post again on this when it's relevant.

Interpersonal Philosophy x2

Why do boys always act like "hard asses" when they're around their buddies?

Submitted by Natalie Spencer

I spent most of my high school lunch periods sitting by my locker doing last-minute homework or reading my Bible. Or at least that's what I pretended to be doing. The truth is that most days I would have my head down in a book, but I'd actually be evesdropping on the conversations taking place around me. It was easy enough to go unnoticed since I had been a loner for most of my secondary education. I was pretty shy and quiet most of the time ("until you get to know me", I would tell people), a result of some negative social experiences from middle school.

Most of the conversations I overheard were females standing around together gossiping about hair, clothes, and other girls that they didn't seem to care for, and guys standing around in their man-cliques talking about the hottest girls (cheerleaders and their friends, usually), who has the biggest rack, and who would suck "you know what" better than someone else.

So I learned a lot about the social behaviors of men, and here are my findings.

It is pretty simple really. Most guys (I would say 90% or so) lack a basic moral foundation. Treating a girl like a lady is an obscure and invisible notion, and chivalry is all but completely dissipated. Simple gestures such as presenting a flower or a tender gaze are no longer considered intimate or meaningful or necessary. No, for most guys in U.S. in the first decade of the 21st century, the ultimate goal is sexual satisfaction.

So the problem is not that guys change their behavior when their posse comes around, it's that their behavior changes when the ladies come around.

Yes, the sad truth is that guys are, by human nature, driven by lust and greed, and will do whatever necessary to satisfy their impulses with the most attractive girls that they can attain. This is almost NEVER a conscious act, and if confronted about it you can expect a guy to spew out, in as caring of a tone as he can muster, something along the lines of "naw baby, I'm being real." So it goes: they will be "men" when around other men, and compassionate sweet-talkers when around women.

A word of advice to the troubled women? Recognize these alter-egos and withhold sexual activity (anything past kissing) from your relationships. Then the guy's true colors will eventually show through, and he'll either get frustrated over time or you'll experience what true love really is.

But now I don't want this to become a completely subjective boy-hating rant, so let me finish with this.

Boys, by divine design, are prone to be more violent. We are men. We like action movies and contact sports. We fear nothing and shun weakness. We love women but don't want to be one. Women, by design, are softer creatures. Unfortunately many women are beginning to throw in the towel on chivalry and instead are striving for that magazine beauty (unattainable ideal) and positive male attention (fueled by lust), thereby enslaving themselves unwittingly in unhealthy relationships and degrading their self-image. But that's an entirely different blog entry for another day...

My point is that the genders are meant to be opposites. Complementary of one another. Girls are expected to be emotional, and guys are expected to be emotionless. That's just the way of it. All you can do is recognize the difference between natural behavior and pseudo-intentional facade. Once you can distinguish between the two, you'll find yourself in deeper, more beneficial relationships -- romantic or otherwise.

Interpersonal Philosophy

Why do boys act surprised when flattery isn't enough to make a girl like them?

Submitted by Hannah Lilley

I think it all boils down to a fundamental difference of gender stimulation. Guys are visually stimulated, girls are emotionally stimulated. And which of these would you expect to come first? Visual stimulation from the men, of course. So the guy just feels sooner. Feels good, feels bad. He will be stimulated before she will be, almost every time.

Disclaimer: We're not talking about sexual stimulation, just a stimulation of the senses.

So the guy starts feeling a fondness before the girl. But this fondness is based on a shallow level of stimulation, one in which the girl does not share. At this point his only means of expressing his feelings is verbally through flattery. I mean if he just walked up and kissed the girl he'd probably get slapped, ya know? So he has to verbally express the sentiment.

The girl, however, is not yet "turned on" because she hasn't been emotionally stimulated through meaningful contact with the guy. So she rejects the flattery. The guy doesn't understand that she requires a deeper connection to share his fond feelings. Because he likes her, he assumes that she's started to feel the same way. But their relationship so far lacks emotion enough for his words to mean anything to her.

But with a little more effort, a few more failed attempts, and some quality time spent together, eventually his words will carry an emotional weight that will move the girl to actually being flattered.

World of Warcraft and a Damsel

Was it about a girl? Or was it about World of Warcraft? Well, it was actually a mix. This is a fairytale dream that I had last night. The girl's identity will remain undisclosed.

Imagine real life as if it were a game.

I was walking along a mountainous, snowy highway picking flowers up from the side of the road (farming herbalism, for you WOWers out there). Suddenly a girl jumps out from the woods that are roadside and barrels into me! She is terrified! Of what, however, remains unclear. I calmed her as I stare in disbelief because I know this girl. I have not seen her in a very long time. She looks beautiful. And she is frightened which is great, from a man's perspective, because it is an opportunity to protect her from the bad thing that threatens her and win her heart through battle.

So I hold her hand and keep her close behind me as we step into the woods in search of the thing that so badly affected her. Only there is nothing around.

Suddenly she FREAKS out again that something is right behind us and goes tearing off deeper into the woods. But there is nothing chasing us. So desperately I try to keep up with her and fight off this invisible foe. Gosh, she is so so beautiful. Dillusional, perhaps, but unmatched in her beauty.

I finally catch up to her and tackle her, right in front of a cave entrance. The cave is a single massive room of stone with lava pits and a wide stone staircase of steps descending right down to the middle of this boiling dungeon. So much for invisible foes, for this cave is a city of golems and ogres, inside and out. She begins to run again, this time heading inside (for whatever reason she chose that direction, I have no idea), but I quickly grab her arm and keep her close as I swing my sword (apparently I have a sword) at the ogres that have now approached ("aggroed") from behind us.

Cut scene. (For non-WOWers, this is where the gameplay is interrupted by a cinematic video that you get to watch, usually relevant to whatever your character was doing right before.)

The ogres are defeated, I have proven to the girl that I am a warrior, and we are back inside the house where I am staying. It is not my house, but a friend's house in the mountains. Apparently I am visiting. My friend and his wife are gone, at work I presume, and so I invite the girl to make herself at home as I head for the shower. I don't want to upset my friend as he returns home to find his carpet caked with dirt and molten lava, after all.

But the shower... well it is in the center of the main room of the cabin, and is made of glass. For whatever reason, I forget about the conspicuous nature of this shower and jump right in.

A few minutes later, after the glass is all fogged up by the hot water, the girl slowly peeks in from an ankle-high ventilation hole near the floor (don't question why the shower was designed that way, I'm just telling it as it happened). This time I am the one that freaks out. "Strange girl!" I am thinking to myself as I frantically cover the hole with my foot. She jumps back and I exclaim "what are you doing?!" "You can see right through!" she responds."Well you're up next, so get used to it" I say as I turn off the water and wrap my towel around my lower half. I step out and she steps in. Then I wake up.

No seriously, I promise I really woke up. I'm not censoring the story. LOL

THE END.

Bad Design

I am not the most talented or most creative designer in the world. But I can recognize good ones and bad ones.

Recently I was assigned to collaborate on a design project for the Terry College of Business for their section on the University of Georgia iTunes U.

I received instructions that Terry College was aspiring to stand out from the other segments of the university with an exceptionally good-looking iTunes U page.

So I designed it.

Then I presented it.

Then they showed me the university-wide template to which we must adhere. Which wouldn't be too bad except that 1) it was not mentioned in the beginning, and 2) it sucks. It's an atrocious design. Look for yourself: http://itunes.uga.edu.

The landing page on the web is decent enough, but it lacks rollover button effects and the pictures are not very interesting or personal. Just your generic research & lecture photos. BORING.

Once you open up iTunes U in iTunes, however, it just goes south. While the UGA home page on iTunes is also relatively acceptable, try browsing the categories in the right column (e.g. Business or Arts & Sciences). These templates are not what I had in mind.

Now I am taking it upon myself to make my iTunes U design irresistable and present it again as a "this is what it could be" design.

If UGA is trying to market itself in trendy environments to a young, trendy audience, they need a modern, trendy design to communicate itself effectively. The template they currently have is not trendy. It is outdated. Which is ironic because it's brand new.

Experience v. Direction

You ever have that feeling where you know something is wrong and though you can name several of the symptoms, you can't quite pinpoint the obvious cause?

"Lack of experience" is often a cop-out that company recruiters often use as an excuse to reject potential candidates when they apply for open positions. The problem in fact is likely to be an expressed confusion on the applicant's part of their career goals. If the applicant seems fickle-minded about how what role they want to play in their professional life, the company writes them off as too risky of an investment. They don't want to hire someone that will only stick around for a year or two, they want to believe that all entry-level employees are going to stick around for many years to come. That might not be true of certain companies where business thrives on the energy of young hires to come in, be relevant to a young target audience, and then move on after only a couple of years on the job.

In my case, I do not have enough experience in the "real world" to feel secure about anything I might be doing in 5-10 years. I simply just don't know enough about these jobs. And so the longer I interview with a company, the more and more I learn about them and what they do and the more excited I get. Unfortunately, the interviewing process generally ends before the company recognizes my growing sense of "I want to do this" which recently has resulted in many "thank you but" letters arriving at my door.

So... next time you go into a job interview, make sure you at least *pretend* to be very certain about how much you love the job for which you are applying. For people like me that hate politics and "fake" personalities, it will be particularly difficult.